I guess wisdom like wine, comes from a pressed life and aged tears. I used to chase away the gathering clouds of sadness with a wind of denial. But I was young then and pain seemed unnatural then.
Pain walked in one evening, I tossed and turned all night and in the morning I discovered the dawn of my womanhood. Pain would return monthly to remind me I was no longer a child. And pain would make an appearance in many garments and many personalities but I always knew pain. Pain is unavoidable, it paralyses all other thoughts and demands complete attention. Pain would be friend or foe, and I was to make that choice.
I used sorrow to lean on pain, sorrow became a crutch and in time, sorrow evolved into a conception of a being I long to be. You see sorrow’s hurts gnawed off the false, they scrape layered wrongs of shattered dreams away. Nothing makes the heart sick like an unmet expectation. And many of the damaged dreams have left me decaying. In bitterness I have often sworn. I have spoken words that must be unspoken. Too many wounds have compelled me to make false oaths but pain exposes my faults with truth and lights my path to freedom. Pain captures my attention and holds me there till I see a truth.
I guess that is why, the truth often hurts. It comes with a searing burning to one who has been in darkness too long. It stings the limbs of one who was frozen but now thaws in the sun. Pain screams I am alive. I do not inflict injury to prove that fact, no. Pain will come in good time. Pain will warn me, awaken me and guide me. It is written, ‘there is godly sorrow and deadly sorrow’. One leads to life the other to death. One leads to a change of mind and the other only stiffens the neck of pride. And pride always comes before a fall. And there are places we fall never to rise again, if our path is not altered. Some pain saves us from the fire. Other pain, operates a defect to make us whole. There is nothing more unexpected, unwelcome yet as familiar as pain.
Whatever pain has come to do. Let it fulfil its task. If it is a healing ,then strengthen your body and heal. If it is a signal of a problem, then get it resolved. If it is repentance and forgiveness you need, then seek reconciliation. If it is letting go, then walk away. There’s a time for everything. And everything serves a purpose. It is not there to kill you but only make you stronger. It serves to make you better not bitter. Let it press you, like grapes in a wine press, your best often flows out of pain and sorrow.